Intimate wellness products have moved out of the back of the shop and into well-designed, discreet boxes sold by mainstream retailers. Plenty of people are curious but unsure where to start, or put off by choice. Like anything worth buying, a little knowledge helps you choose well, spend sensibly and enjoy what you buy.

Start simple

You don't need anything elaborate. A first purchase is best kept small, simple and easy to use, whether it's for you alone or to share. Think about what you'd actually enjoy rather than what's popular, and read a few honest reviews from people with similar tastes. If you're in a relationship, choosing together can be part of the fun, and a good way to start a conversation. Our guide to saying what you want may help.

Choose body-safe materials

This is the most important thing to get right, because these products are used against the most delicate skin.

  • Look for: body-safe or medical-grade silicone, glass and stainless steel. They are non-porous, so they're easy to keep clean.
  • Be wary of: soft "jelly" plastics and anything with a strong chemical smell. Porous materials can hold bacteria however well you clean them.
  • Check the label: good brands state the material clearly. If a listing is vague about what something is made of, choose another.

Practical things worth knowing

  • Rechargeable is kinder to the planet and your pocket than batteries.
  • Waterproof means easier cleaning and more freedom.
  • Quiet matters more than most people expect, particularly in a shared home.
  • Size and simplicity: smaller and simpler is usually the better first choice.

The right lubricant

A good lubricant makes almost everything more comfortable. Water-based lubricants are the most versatile, are easy to wash off and are safe with every material. Silicone-based lubricants last longer, but can damage silicone products, so keep them for glass or steel. If you use condoms, check the lubricant is compatible: oil-based products can weaken latex.

Cleaning and storage

Clean products before and after every use with warm water and a mild, unscented soap or a dedicated cleaner, following the maker's instructions. Let them dry fully, then store them separately in a pouch or box, away from dust and heat. Replace anything that's damaged or no longer feels right.

Buying with discretion

Choose an established retailer with clear information about materials, a proper privacy policy and plain, unbranded packaging. Check how the order will appear on your bank statement, and what the returns policy is: for hygiene reasons, opened intimate products often can't be returned.

Feeling your best is the pointThe best product is the one that helps you feel relaxed, curious and at ease. There's no right amount to own and no wrong reason to choose not to. More in confidence, close up.

This article is general guidance for adults. If you have pain, discomfort or a health concern, speak to your GP or a sexual health service. More in Intimacy & Relationships.